Welcome to My World: Ode to My Clunker

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Ode to My Clunker

After most recently putting ~$800 in engine repairs to keep Suzy (our Dodge Stratus) running, I’ve drawn a line in the sand. Simple comparison of the last years maintenance: our recent hand-me-down 1990 Honda rusted-out Civic with no A/C and manual everything—alternator $90, thermostat $10; our ‘nicer’ 1996 Dodge Stratus—broken ball joint + leaking oil sending unit $550, glitchy computer modules + bad electrical distributor $800, along with a failing ABS module and noisy valves (newer isn’t always better, huh). I came THIS close to junking it. So, Suzy, consider this your ultimatum:

In case you were wondering, you ARE expendible. I am not too attached to you to keep draining my account into keeping you running. I’ve said before that if it got to the point where I was putting over $150-200/mo into keeping you running, then I would rather put that money into payments on a newer car less temperamental and more comfortable to drive. You can say, “Oh, you would dare!” Well, missy, just try me. I already have a wonderful woman in my life to take care of. I don’t need a winy, high-maintenance nag on top of that. If you force me to choose, she stays, you go.

So, I just wanted to let you know that your days are numbered. Your retirement is fast approaching. I alone make the decision as to how soon that will be. Consider yourself on a four-month probation. You have this time to prove to me that you deserve to stay. This is last and final warning to shape up or you will booted out on your lazy, no-good, free-loadin’, pollutin’ rear-end.

5 comments:

Michelle said...: Awe...it's good to know you'd choose me. haha.; February 11, 2009 at 10:12 AM
Momma Sarah said...: LOL!!!! That's pretty funny! Yeah, at least she's held on this long, eh? May she get her act in gear and not be anymore trouble until you can replace her (behind her back, of course!) HOw many miles in on Suzy anyway? I'm curious.; February 11, 2009 at 4:59 PM
Momma Sarah said...: Oh, and I was secretly hoping you'd choose Suzy and we'd get Michelle and the kids. You'd have to pay spousal and child support but we'd take REAL good care of them! he he!!!; February 11, 2009 at 5:00 PM
Mike said...: she only has ~130k. No way, Jose! Back off of Michelle, she's MINE, ALL MINE!!! (cue evil laughter); February 11, 2009 at 7:26 PM
Mary said...: Too funny!!!!
Is it bad that my Corolla is 4 years younger and has 15K more miles on it than Suzy?? But, I gotta keep it around for a few more years!!!; February 17, 2009 at 7:41 AM

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Spiritual Thought

The Lord’s prophets have always called for UNITY. There are principles we are following as a people which are leading to greater unity.

One of those principles is revelation. Revelation is the only way we can know how to follow the will of the Lord together. It requires light from above.

A second principle to guide our progress to become one is to be humble. Pride is the great enemy of unity. You have seen and felt its terrible effects. Just days ago I watched as two people—good people—began with a mild disagreement. It started as a discussion of what was true but became a contest about who was right. Voices become gradually louder. Faces became a little more flushed. Instead of talking about the issue, people began talking about themselves, giving evidence why their view, given their great ability and background, was more likely to be right.

Happily I am seeing more and more skillful peacemakers who calm troubled waters before harm is done. You could be one of those peacemakers, whether you are in the conflict or an observer. One way I have seen it done is to search for anything on which we agree. The great peacemaker, the restorer of unity, is the one who finds a way to help people see the truth they share. That truth they share is always greater and more important to them than their differences. That same principle applies as we build unity with people who are from vastly different backgrounds. The children of God have more in common than they have differences. And even the differences can be seen as an opportunity. God will help us see a difference in someone else not as a source of irritation but as a contribution. The Lord can help you see and value what another person brings which you lack.

That leads to another principle of unity. It is to speak well of each other. Think of the last time you were asked what you thought about how someone else was doing in your family or in the Church. For instance, suppose someone asks you what you think of the new bishop. As we get better and better at forging unity, we will think of a scripture when we hear that question: “And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall also be judged.” Realizing that you see others in an imperfect light will make you likely to be a little more generous in what you say. In addition to that scripture, you might remember your mother saying ”If you can’t say anything good about a person, don’t say anything at all.”

That will help you look for what is best in the bishop’s performance and character. The Savior, as your loving judge, will surely do that as He judges your performance and mine. The scripture and what you heard from your mother may well lead you to describe what is best in the bishop’s performance and his good intent. I can promise you a feeling of peace and joy when you speak generously of others in the Light of Christ. You will feel, for instance, unity with that bishop and with the person who asked your opinion, not because the bishop is perfect or because the person asking you shares your generous evaluation. It will be because the Lord will let you feel His appreciation for choosing to step away from the possibility of sowing seeds of disunity.
-President Henry B. Eyring, Oct 2008 General Conference

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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Ode to My Clunker

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